2.
The terrapin made for the road.
With dignity, slowly he strode.
Though sluggish and base,
And at a snail's pace,
He carried a stately abode.

3.
I don't care for blackstrap molasses
And if offered syrup, I passes.
No sugar or honey,
And jam just tastes funny;
I only want sweet sassafrasses.

4.
I cannot be bothered with snails.
They haven't tongues, noses, or tails.
They cannot be pet, 
Or else you'll get wet.
They're only good in your entrails.

5.
Your toes are so cute I can't stand it -
Provocative, as if you'd planned it.
They're charming and sweet,
Hence I favor bare feet.
I do not request— I demand it.

6.
[On leave]

7.
Freckles are lovely on faces
But really, they're great anyplaces.
When a body's explored
By eyes of amour,
Each freckle is like an oasis.

8.
I took out my hammer and saw
A horse who was breaking the law
So I harnessed his feet
To a stone on the street
And nailed half his tail to his jaw. 

9.
A blind man was out for a strolling
When something just set his eyes rolling
He heard striking sounds
Like his brains tumbling down—  
His cranium's contents were bowling.

10.
What is love between man and a cat?
Is anything simpler than that?
He started to mate her,
And just three months later,
They proudly gave birth to a rat.

11.
The chicken knew she was a terrible sinner,
her faith in the Lord growing thinner and thinner.
In a need to atone,
She cooked up her bones
And offered herself as a succulent dinner.

12.
A lady was licking the lake
While nobody else was awake.
Her revelry grew
Since no one else knew
It tasted like strawberry steak.

13.
A dignified lady was walking to mass,
When a dogmatic mule leapt out of the grass.
He donned her clothes, braying,
Seized her hymnal, while saying,
"Now no one can call me an ungodly ass."

14.
His legacy hung like a towel:
Waterlogged, filthy, and foul.
His infamy spread
Like butter on bread
Till disrepute dripped from his jowl.

15.
The dish was revolting and gross
Unfathom'bly wretched at most.
The guests were offended,
Offense was extended, 
Till one beat the chef comatose.

16.
The mule wanted love right away
So he sniffed through a big bale of hay.
When he found an old ass,
He made with his task,
Making the poor gardener bray.

17.
The way that you chew isn't charming—
Bestial, barbaric, disarming.
Chops unstoppable,
Mess unmoppable
Ravening, raging, alarming.